He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize