Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
My hand turned me down
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
