He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
