My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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