Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
