Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
