You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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