dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
