She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I am available for nakedness
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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