If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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