i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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