Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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