I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
