i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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