Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
