haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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