If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
