he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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