$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
