I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
