I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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