What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
