Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
