recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
