MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
