i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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