It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
