god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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