i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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