if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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