every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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