she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
