Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
