who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
