Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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