I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
