Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
