What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
