nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
