drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
