I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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