So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
