sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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