I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
