CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
