Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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