I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
