Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
