"it" just moved
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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