i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
