people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
